5
17 Apr 14 at 12 pm
tags: personal 

Hot girls with short hair who write poetry are bad for my MUHFUGGIN health.

 1
17 Apr 14 at 10 am
tags: personal 

I came to meet with my professor about my paper and she told me I should drop my topic because it made me too emotional and I made myself look like an idiot I feel tired and wounded and so done. I really want to skip everything today and I just might after this class, and go back to sleep and take ownership of everything I’ve messed up, academically, socially. This ship is sinking. I have to change my topic, I have stop being so dramatic and so messy. I am privileged, I live with privilege and more often than not I feel like I am a waste of those resources, I am here and I should do something with that, but I’m sinking.
Who am I? How dare I?

 2
16 Apr 14 at 11 pm

My little bro

tags: personal  love him 

"We are NOT basic."

 3
16 Apr 14 at 11 pm
tags: personal 

Instead of texting you,
I called my little brother and we talked about Game of Thrones.
This counts as progress right?

It’s like I want you to know
That I’m thinking of you. 
That I have been thinking of you, 
That I can’t stop thinking of you, 
That I know I should stop thinking about you, 
But I don’t know what to say,
Other than 
My heart is tired, exhausted, sad. 
We’ve been threw a lot, 
We’ve been thrown for a lot. 
I need to turn away and shield my once blooming heart
so I can simply survive. 
The blooming stopped
when the cold swooped in
challenged us,
wilted and reluctant,
defeated and all but destroyed. 
I quit. 

  • I am bait.
  • I have no power with you.
  • I have a stocky body type.
  • It’s an arms race of emotion and passive aggressiveness.
  • Which won’t end until someone decides to do it. 
  • You are in complete control. 
  • You’re selfish. 

ugh.

my late night narrative/line of thinking/activities are all over the place 

I just had a thought about matching socks and then a poem I wanted to write about what I want but I’m writing a paper about queering the prison abolitionist movement then I planned out what I’m wearing tomorrow, and then promptly disagreed with myself and now I’m editing and listening to the Song of Purple Summer 

and this is what I do late at night 
The sad part is this is 2 am behavior 
I am going to be so tired tomorrow.

 1
16 Apr 14 at 12 am
tags: personal 

my shirt is really interesting to me I don’t really know much about it other than it saying “NASTY BUNCH” across the front in red letters and on the back it says “MEDINA” my mom’s maiden name with the number 44 on it. Like I don’t even think it was hers I have no idea where it came from 

 7
15 Apr 14 at 11 pm

scandalous towel bloggin’ 

hullo 

tags: personal 
scandalous towel bloggin’ 
hullo 
 9
15 Apr 14 at 6 pm

Always nice to get notifications from the queen herself.

Dear QWOC,

You are beautiful.
You are important.

SO apparently I was really mean in class today to the presenters. I think this happened for a couple of reasons. 

  1. Both of you were there. 
  2. I can’t love you anymore.
  3. I never stopped loving you.
  4. I wasn’t sitting by any of you. 
  5. I saw Emily before class.
  6. I am a nervous restless wreck. 
  7. I made the most eye contact with the professor which means I was unconsciously/consciously trying to impress her and be on the same level as her. 
  8. I get ontologically passive aggressive and angry.
  9. I take it out on people.
  10. I need a hug. 

I want the professor to like me but not at the cost of everyone, including the entire class hating me. I’m always self conscious in this class but now even more so. :<

 7
14 Apr 14 at 11 pm
tags: personal  w 

the wind loud 
the sun hiding 
the air present 

your steps quiet / my heart shaking 
your looks distant / my eyes distracted 
your mind away / my mind on you 
your body close / can I touch you?

my love 
closed, caged, and convinced of calamity
should it be let out 

you left.
I stayed, 
alone.  

A whole bunch of freaked out feels and notes idek

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 4
14 Apr 14 at 4 pm

Yesterday.

tags: personal