This just in, since the rest of my family has a vivacious social life and my parents have discovered it will just be the three of us this evening so they’ve schemed to take me to dinner. One on one time with my parents…if I think about it too much kinda makes me nervous and I am and am not so sure why.
One lunch last week between my sister and my mom and I was completely awkward and tense till my dad showed up, he was the energy we needed and it was amazing how he just lit each of us up, smiling and laughing. It was the same at a family dinner with my grandparents. My grandparents love him and love us so much. With my dad and uncles my grandpa ruled with an iron fist and my dad is the complete opposite, rosy cheeks, easy smile and jolly disposition always hugging me. The thought of my dad sometimes is enough to make me cry. He’s so kind.
I’m much more like my mom, but I like to think sometimes I’m as charismatic as him if I’m comfortable enough. I used to be extroverted able to work a crowd over, have the room laughing, be the sun, the source of comfort and warmth, not the center of attention. There is a difference.
My little brothers came home for lunch today, and before they did Sam texted me to please make them mac n cheese, so I did I was happy too, and then my best friend called me from Syracuse and then my sister came home and I let her eat my cheese enchiladas from yesterday. Then I made my littlest brother some hot cocoa, and right now he’s upstairs reading his book I bought him yesterday. Laura is studying, and Daniel was watching tv. The house is calm, we’re all doing our own thing, and it was just nice, this is nice. Daniel just took Sam back to school, and Laura has class in a few.
I’m just really glad to be home and have these moments. I’m 21, Laura is 20, Daniel is 17 and Sam is 16. I can’t believe we’re so old, and I’ve missed so much time and I might happy cry.
👪❤🇺🇸 (en Rosa’s Cafe)These people are everything to me, everything that I am.
TELL ME I’m not a great sister
group message with bros and princess. I can’t tell if Sam is being serious or not, but I’m going to pretend his 16 year old self just is that cute.
I’m supposed to be resting in preparation for a visit to the only living grandmother I have, the fall semester taking the other two. I should be sleeping, but I can’t.
Just looked at my financial aid for next year, looks about the same. Not good, not bad, just yeah. Balls I need to make some money either by shakin my tatas or doing something with a bit more class haha. I’ve been advocating for myself from everything to sock folding to babysitting to gardening, even though I kill every plant I ever look at, oi college.
I’ve had some recent reveletions concerning humans, family, life, etc. in combination with learning new shocking things about my family. Like my grandmas first two kids on my moms side have different fathers than from my mother…my uncle steals from my aunt and my cousin has been stealing from my aunt….and well other things that rock my world. I feel the only way to actually capture what’s been going on, my thoughts and how I see my family blah blah, is to write about it.
I’ve never considered myself a writer…more of a jotter downer….but the movies say “Write about what you know.” Family, well in the end its all we’ve got. I’m going to write our story.