Being a college student is weird. 

You wake up at 11, if you’re lucky
Tired and groggy and
Probably angry or annoyed at something, anything, or everything.
The work you didn’t do,
the grade you didn’t get,
the person who didn’t text you back.
So much is going on all at once, and you can’t exactly keep up.
It’s impossible to keep up.

And you’re tired, always tired.
And probably a little bit ungrateful.
You have everything with that education waiting for you to just take.

But sometimes you’re too tired to move, to think, to feel.
Though the last two will happen inevitably,
You will still try to not deal with them.
You eat something, and then get tired again.
Coffee doesn’t do it anymore, but you try everyday anyway,
hoping this time you’ll get your shit together.

No one told you this would happen,
No one warned you about the emptiness of everyday,
the hole in your stomach, the weights on your heart.
A lonely that finds you midday and late at night, paralyzing you,
Yet it’s here and it happened.
You make lists that you lose,
You gym for a week and don’t go back for three.
You drink with your friends because it’s what you’re supposed to do.
But all any of that does is make you tired.
We are so tired. 

And then its 4 am and I’m still at the library. 
In my defense, I was very studious…for one class.
I have three tomorrow. 
In my defense, 
I already know what I’m wearing tomorrow
In my defense,
I’m guaranteed nourishment because I have plans
Two of ‘em, breakfast and lunch!  
Unlike today,
when I had lunch, and then some soup and a cupcake as meals.

24 Feb 14 at 2 am


Cruz writes a paper.


Cruz writes a paper.

Dear professor, 

You seem really nice and really cute but honestly I don’t care about this class at all. If you do not take attendance and post your power points on blackboard then I have zero reason to show up to class. 

I am grateful to you and people like you who find this subject fascinating and work really hard to teach us some things but I can’t make myself care past that and I’m sorry. 

The senior taking this for the science credit 

07 Nov 13 at 8 pm

Paper writing feels

Top Left: that paper is probably due soon… (The I-probably-should-start-soon feel)
Top Right: hey man its cool chill you have time! (Classic misunderstanding of time feel)
Bottom Left: what paper? we don’t have a paper (Straight up denial)


My problem with college history classes is that there are too many classes covering the Pilgrims and the Boston Tea Party and not enough classes covering Watergate and Glass Steagall.
I’m so tired of re-learning this tired information and face palming when older generations complain that my generation is ignorant about modern history.

My problem with college history classes is that history is told from and by the victors, that women, people of color, lgbt people etc. their histories are never told. Entire groups of people, lived experiences silenced. Modern history should be about recovering these silenced pasts, these socio-political histories that were never taught to begin with, and why they weren’t taught. 

I remember going over the history of propaganda in one of my culture classes and shocked they portrayed Mexicans as lazy chain smokers in a kids cartoon so I asked my professor if it was a coincidence or they just did it to be funny (mind you I was a sophomore) and she said “No. Nothing is a coincidence.” 

I have a crazy idea. 

What IF I 

read all 38 articles that I have to read for tomorrow. 
get into another class to replace the really hard graduate one I dropped today
actually ATTENDED all the parties I got invited to this weekend?


On the upside, I didn’t cry in front of Emily today.
This could just be the cold haze. 
-stay tuned.  

So here’s whats up. 
  • If my grandmother does her annual “Where’s your boyfriend?” thing where my cousin has her trained to look forward to seeing a few Facebooks during the Christmas season, I have a few options on how to respond. A) Go on my feminist box and give her all the reasons why not having a boyfriend at 20 years old doesn’t make me deficient by any means or B) Show her pictures of my gay best friend and I. 
  • If my horrid extended family acts up and places odd burdens on me such as telling me bad things about other families, I will stop them before they disclose any information and warn them my opinion shall also be heard because if I’m adult enough to hear it, I am adult enough to have my opinion at least heard if not respected. 
  • If my immediate family again launches familial politics on me only adding to the stress I have on myself, again I shall make my opinion known and leave it at that, finding comfort and much more discomfort in the fact that I can’t do anything about it….but trust some things must take their course. 
  • If my old high school classmates see me and commence in the awful small talk that people from small cities excel in I’ll suck it up and participate, because when do I ever see them? My real friends know how much I hate that charade but they don’t so I’ll just give them the benefit of the doubt…
  • If my cat gives me any back talk for leaving him at home while at college, well too bad I’m going to snuggle him anyways. 

Finals week is so weird. 

Chill because of the zero classes, yet extremely stressful because of the exams and often how much we stress out on how well we might need/want to do, how our futures are hinged on these grades, whether it be study abroad, or financial aid or general happiness with ourselves, because whether or not our parents or professors believe us, we do care. 

eating a poptart because college. 


I can’t tell if the knot in my stomach is from stress about all the work I will be doing tonight or if I’m actually just sick; or if I’m making myself sick from all the stress. Probably all in my head.

Activities Include:

  • Movies
  • Hulu
  • Eating*(See Snacks)
  • Listening to sad music
  • Listening to happy music
  • Listening to drunk sorority girl neighbors
  • Facebook
  • Tumblr

Possible Snacks Include:

  • Day Old Chinese Food 
  • Easy Mac 
  • Butter Lovers Popcorn
  • Fruit (Yeah right)
  • Other vending machine amenities 


Heyyy Cutesy College Couples,




Everybody else.